Heaven's Fault
by Vagyr
Summary: Semi-serious  or at least trying to be . After Kiritsugu dies, ONI scouts young shirou for the Spartan III program. Story set after Shirou saves the galaxy and right before Grail War. Let the zaniness begin! Shirou / Harem
1. Prologue

Accessing ONI database…

Access granted.

Opening UNSC personnel listings.

Opening Spartan personnel listings.

Warning. Access Restricted. Additional Security Clearance Required.

…

…

Clearance Granted.

Searching…

Records Found.

[Family Name]: Emiya

[First Name]: Shirou

[Current Age]: 17

[Acquisition Age]: 8

[UNSC division]: Army

[Subdivision]: Special Warfare Group 3

[Rank]: Lieutenant

[Spartan Tag]: Beta-312

[Callsign]: Noble 6

[Status]: Active

[Notable Achievements]:

+ Completed basic training 2 years ahead of schedule

+ Outer colony insurrectionist suppression (details classified Lvl.10, Re-Authorization necessary)

+ Inner colony insurrectionist suppression (details classified Lvl.10, Re-Authorization necessary)

+ SABRE Program participant (details classified Lvl.10, Re-Authorization necessary)

+ Defense of Reach (details classified Lvl.10, Re-Authorization necessary)

+ Initiation of Human-Covenant Separatist alliance

+ Purging of New Mombasa post-flood infestation

+ Elimination of Covenant leadership structure

+ Destruction of all known traces of bio-form infestation code-named Flood

[Anomalies]

+ Accelerated healing:

Though as a side effect of the CHYSANTHENUM program, Generation III Spartans enjoy increased metabolism and subsequently recovered at heightened rates, level 2 injuries are beyond projected self-repair capabilities.

\\Addendum:

CF-58 Nano-machine integration would provide additional tissue repair capabilities, however, subject recovery speeds are still far beyond what was expected.

\\\\Field entry(s):

_This is…quite odd to say the least. This boy, Shirou I think he said his name was, came in asking me to look at a little limp. But when I checked his suit's records, it indicated that his leg had taken several hits from a needler, one of which found bone! You don't get away with just a "little limp" when an exploding crystal gets lodged in, then goes off, in your *expletive deleted* Tibia (shin bone)! Well, least that explains why his pants were torn up._

- Dr. Susan Thatcher. May 12, 2550

+ Unusual movement capabilities:

MJOLNIR series power armor enables wearer to run at speeds of up to 65.2mph, doing so for extended periods of time leads to tissue destruction and so is not recommended. Records from the unit issued to B312 show instances where speeds of 90mph were reached for stretches far exceeding the upper safety limits with no ill effects

+ Uncategorized:

There are numerous incidents in which B312 seems to have acquired more munitions than would have been possible due to a combination of suit hard point limitations and general availability.

\\\\Instance:

During evacuation of colony Kappa-912 on Sigma 5, onboard computer records indicate that 194 missiles were launched, after which 48 rounds were fired from a Warthog mounted M68 Gauss cannon.

Extraction team only had a combined total of 150 missiles at the time of entry, including emergency reserves. In addition the computer on the M12 Light Reconnaissance vehicle in question never indicated any weapon changes on planet.

\\\\Field entry(s):

_Geez, coulda swore we'd already used up all those thangs 2 hours ago, then all of a sudden I check the supply truck and wuddaya know. Well, Momma always said to ne'er look a gift horse in the mouth so here goes! Infinite Ammo Woohoo!_

- Private First Class Leroy Jenkins. July 4, 2551

…

…

Changes confirmed

[Status]: Honorable Discharge.

Logging out.

"Great, there goes a multi-billion credit asset"

Margaret O. Parangosky was not a happy woman / director of the most important intelligence gathering organization known to man. B312 had in his career, to put it lightly, become a very valuable piece of work. A very valuable piece of work that she had put in a good bit of effort grooming from the shadows after pulling him from operation: TORPEDO, when he was deemed too valuable to expend. Not that any of this mattered. After all, in the end, orders were orders, and far be it for her to disobey when the person who issued the order was standing right next to her, watching the screen like a parent observing a child who was too clever for her own good.

"Well, I figured since he just saved all sentient life in the galaxy from extinction it would be nice to give him a little thanks."

Locking eyes with the person who was now effectively the de facto ruler of mankind would have been no easy feat for anybody given how imposing the man was, but then again, Margaret was not just anybody.

"Are you seriously going to try to convince me that we wouldn't have been able to use him after the war ended Lord Hood?"

Fleet Admiral Lord Terence Hood pondered his answer for a few seconds before smirking. The two of them had been at each others' throats throughout the entire war, so it was no surprise that arguments such as this one would erupt often. Though at this point both of them already knew how the other was going to respond so discussions would usually devolve to a point where more drastic measures would have to be implemented for either side to gain the upper hand.

"No, I'm not going to try to convince you that back then nobody else could have filled his shoes. Now, however, those shoes aren't as big anymore."

…

…

*Staring contest go!

…

…

"Your left eye twitched you old fart."

"Trick of the light."

…

…

"HAH! YOU BLINKED BASTARD!"

"Trick of the light."

…*sigh*

"This is the part where you pull rank on me isn't it"

Note that this was not a question so questions marks don't apply here.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Margaret's left eye was twitching uncontrollably at this point and if you looked closely enough, you could also see several veins popping out of her forehead. Not that she was completely unjustified in her anger. After all, she only has to deal with a difficult boss under some of the most stressful work conditions in existence.

But even that wasn't the main cause. Though Hood was technically her superior and technically could say 'Imma fleet admiral, obey me,' with the importance of their roles, they were actually more or less on equal footing in the hierarchical food chain. No no, the real reason that Hood would eventually get his way had more to do with a certain video he had taken of a certain Head of Intelligence Operations reading Not Safe for Work Yuri manga in the men's bathroom.

"I see…so you're going to use…that."

"Perhaps." Definitely

"One of these days…"

"Hey, it's not my fault you got so excited about the packet the Intern brought in that you didn't bother to run a background check."

"So then the camera in the bathroom WAS your fault?"

"Of course not, that would be your assistants' fault, and the fault of the million dollar betting pool on whether or not you were a lesbian. Thanks for the new shoes by the way."

At this point the cold collected demeanor of the super duper spy had completely collapsed into that of a hysterical woman who had forgotten to take her anti-psychotic medication.

"FINE! Whatever, Take Him! It's not like I spent almost a decade and god knows how much money turning him into a Perfect Killing machine that would make Jaws look like a kitten! And it's not like I basically promised a small planet to the Mages Association in exchange for turning the brat into a BLEEPING magic reservoir the size of Jupiter! He started out with 27 circuits which could barely do anything, now he has 160, each which might as well be the magic equivalent of a fusion reactor!"

*insert obligatory gasp for air.

"And OF COURSE we didn't blow enough money to build a carrier and its whole strike group to try a nano-machine augmentation procedure that winded up killing the other 199,999 participants. But noooo, Big Ol'Hood said the kid's a human and deserves a normal life. GAAAAAH! Ow ow ouch oooow."

Stress induced headaches are never pretty. Especially if you're not entirely sane in the first place.

"Aspirin?"

"Thank you."

"Would you like a dose of morphine as well?"

"Standard lethal amount won't kill me anymore."

"…so that's where my stash had been going" Hood muttered to himself.

Pulling up an empty chair, the old military man cracked open a bottle of Vodka and filled two shot glasses that had been placed on the table in anticipation.

Task completed, he put on a worn smile. _Yup, definitely been around each other for too long_.

Downing their drinks, there was a moment of silence while the two contemplated the future that they had now set before the one so instrumental to their survival. Sure they would put in place a very generous fund for living expenses, as well as insist he attend a college of some sort to secure his place in society. He would be well provided for, of that there was no doubt. It was the more…subtle…aspects of civilian life that they were worried about.

Certain things would not come easily…

Well…ok, maybe a lot of things…

Fine! Fine! No need to drag it out, just about everything wouldn't come easy! I mean come on, kid was learning how to throw grenades when he should have been learning how to throw inflatable rubber balls. Normal people collect bottle caps, or coins, he collects covenant weapons! When most children his age were getting ready to take out their first girlfriend in junior high, he was getting ready to take out his first target on a mission in near zero gravity in a defunct mining facility. Though he did learn how to jam tongues down peoples' throats…sharp, 8 inch long titanium carbide coated carbon steel tongues.

Ah, the joys of puberty.

Fact of the matter is, when you have a childhood like that you're bound to be a bit messed up. Proven by several incidents where well meaning marines / ODSTs would try to explain the use of contraceptives while attempting to give the birds and bees talk, only to be met with a blank stare. Hundreds of attempts and an equal number of damaged brains later, word finally got around that "runt can kill you in more ways than your granny knows how to cook up a chicken, but whichever girl falls for 'im is gonna need either Buddha's patience or lifespan if she ever wants to explain that babies don't get carried to mama and papa by storks."

Yes ladies and gentlemen, Shirou Emiya is a complete dunce when it comes to relationships. Which is probably a good thing since several female communication officers and field medics would have been finding ways for their birth control to conveniently fail by now, thereby robbing a certain trio of female magi back on Earth of their shot at him.

But anyway, back to the two most powerful people in the human race.

Letting out a worried sigh, the woman finally spoke. "So you think he'll be alright? This isn't exactly like any mission he's been on before. Social dynamics tend to be a bit different from see, shoot, stab, blowup mechanics that he's used to"

Looking out a window down towards the Earth, Lord Hood thought for a while before responding without hesitation.

"He'll adapt. If nothing else he's adaptable."

"He's simple."

"Survival is of the fittest, oftentimes the simplest of organisms. Isn't that why you sought him out and pulled him from his suicide mission?"

Sighing Margaret followed her companion's line of sight.

"I know, it's just…"

"He's the closest thing to a son you ever had?"

"…Yeah, you're right, I'm probably over-thinking things."

* * *

><p>Tips? Suggestions? Ideas on how you think this story should go? Throw it in the reviews or send me a PM.<p> 


	2. Chapter 1

Well, here's the first real chapter. I got some messages concerning Shirou being overpowered. Keep in mind, He only has 160 high quality circuits, Rin has over 50 high quality circuits, take into account her family crest which has been embedded in her, which counts as another 30, include the fact that their potential only slightly outstrips hers', he's still only about 2-3 times as powerful as she is.

Also, remember that servants are legendary spirits equipped with the bells and whistles that made them legends, such that even Ilya at full power would simply crumble if she went against one by herself. I kinda had to give Shirou a boost if I expected him to be able to duke it out with any servant other than Gilgamesh (Unlimited blade works, once properly working, is his natural enemy, it'd be like fire pokemon vs water pokemon with UBW being water).

Shirou hasn't encountered any noble phantasms yet, and thanks to being too busy saving the galaxy from foes equipped with conventional, albeit advanced, arms, hasn't had time to develop his magical talents very much beyond reinforcing and tracing. The best comparison would be that he's an entire mountain range of uranium that hasn't been refined into "The Bomb" yet.

* * *

><p>Japan.<p>

Land of the Rising Sun.

A place with one of the richest histories and cultures in existence.

Home to many of Humanities greatest delights; such as natural hot springs, Japanese sweets, tuna fishing, underwear vending machines…

Shirou scratched his head upon reading the last entry in the travel brochure. Granted he'd been away from the place of his birth for awhile and hadn't really had much time to read about its culture (running around other planets and ring-shaped artificial environments left behind by a long dead super advanced alien species tends to take a toll on your free time) but he just couldn't understand why people would be willing to pay such an insane markup for undergarments, used ones at that. Apparently this was also a pretty hot commodity off-world, as he remembered once ripping open a container filled with such articles on a smuggling vessel bound for Mars that had been tagged by ONI as carrying hazardous materials.

The order had apparently come directly from the top too.

_Can't see how these are so dangerous if they're legal on Earth. Whatever, I'm sure Margaret knew exactly what she was doing._

Making peace with his thoughts and his blind naïve faith in the obviously most trustworthy and mentally stable head of intelligence operations he knew, our hero put the booklet back into the pocket in front of him and looked out the window trying to make out the green landmass in the ball of blue that he was to call home.

*DING DONG*

"Ladies and Gentlemen this is your captain speaking. Our shuttle will soon be initiating atmospheric re-entry. Please return to your seats and adjust them to their upright positions. Also, please close the panels to the viewports on either side of this craft. Restrain any young children from attempting to re-open them to look at the shiny lights that result from air particles rubbing against our belly. Doing so may result in temporary or permanent blindness, not covered in 99% of travelers' insurance policies and which we will not be responsible for since you all signed a waiver on the 50 page fine-print form you were required to read prior to purchasing the ticket but most likely didn't bother to."

Twenty minutes later a jolt shook the spaceship as gravity fully took hold of it from reaches of space. Panic took some of the younger ones who were not yet accustomed to being packed into a metal box and dropped into a situation where the air itself was trying to tear your coffin, and by extension, you, to burnt up shreds. Other, older people were grabbing their barf bags and clinging on for dear life. As for Shirou…

_Wow, this is really comfortable._

Remember troops, military equipment such as the type our Spartan is accustomed to using is always made by the lowest bidder.

* * *

><p>Looking around like a misplaced tourist, Shirou tried to take in the entirety of the Miyama district where he had once lived. Though considered quaint and traditional by many, to him, this simply lent a comforting air to the locale. Having pinpointed the local produce sector, he made his way through the shops looking for the daily necessities that would undoubtedly be needed at his residence after nearly a decade of neglect.<p>

Right about the reach for the miso, eyes suddenly made contact with a face that seemed startlingly familiar.

"Senpai? I-is it…really you?"

Wracking through heavily faded memories Shirou desperately grasped for a name to put on the new (old?) person. Demeanor was definitely the same, and face looked vaguely familiar, but were the eyes and hair supposed to be that color? Deciding that this may be a part of the "fashion trend" female soldiers kept talking about, he decided to take a gamble.

"Sakura?"

"Kyaaaa, Senpai, it's you, it's really you!" Sakura screamed as she jumped her long lost friend / love interest in a surprisingly strong bear hug before breaking down into tears.

For a moment, finally re-united, the two simply stood there in the bustling streets trying to make up for almost a decade's worth of lost time in a few paltry moments.

Finally settling down, Sakura released her companion. The reality of how close they physically were dawned on her leading to a deep blush

"I'm s-s-orry senpai, it's just, I was, I mean."

Shirou smiled. _Yep, same old Sakura._

"I really missed you too."

Face now brightening, Sakura turned upwards to the one whose memory made her daily tortures bearable.

Unable to find the proper words at the moment, she settled for a joyful "Un" before moving to join her senior in a bid to get away from the knowing looks that were starting to pile on from the surrounding observers.

And so continued the Emiya-Matou shopping expedition.

"Senpai, you know, you won't really need all those cleaning supplies." Shirou's partner quipped as she peered through his purchases.

"What? Why not? I mean, nobody's lived there for ages, it has to be dusty, moldy and practically falling apart now."

"Well, after you left, Taiga kept coming to check up on you. Even when it was pretty clear you would be gone for awhile, she would use it as a place to practice by herself."

Sakura's blush returned a bit as she was about to make her confession.

"And I…umm…I kept the place cleaned and tidy. Ah! Don't get me wrong, I had to cook dinner for Taiga there sometimes so it was only right that I give back a little bit!"

Shirou was stunned.

"Wow, I mean, thank you. Really, I mean it, thank you!"

"Hehe, don't mention it Senpai!"

_After all, being there and remembering you was what kept me alive._ Sakura thought to herself. Having had her body ravaged by both her adopted parent's experiments and her brother's twisted urges, it was only the hope the someday, somehow, her beloved would come back, that prevented her from diving into the pits of despair.

Noticing that while she was in her thoughts, the one she was walking with was reading what appeared to be a letter, she decided to sneak a peek at the contents.

Shirou,

Your belongings along with a few gifts will be delivered to your place of residence.

Whenever you have the opportunity, contact my secretary to let her know that the bank account we set up for you is properly funded. If you ever need more, don't hesitate to ask. I know what you're thinking right now and I won't have any of it, think of it as your long overdue hazard pay.

Also, the association has agreed to send a representative to develop your talents. Something they weren't able to do very effectively in the past due to the fact that you were usually occupied with more pressing matters. The person in question will contact you at your estate.

Finally, at the soonest possible time, make sure to go to Homurahara High school and confirm your enrollment. You will be entering as a second year.

Regards,

Hood

"Hey Senpai, that's the same high school I'm going to be attending soon!"

"Really? Haha, I'll be in your care then."

"That's what I should be saying, now I'll really be your junior!"

* * *

><p>The two laughed as they walked, recalling old memories.<p>

"Say, how is Taiga nowadays?"

"Oh, she's the same as always, still kept the nickname too! Ah, by the way, you should get used to calling her Fujimura-sensei now that she's teaching at the school we're going to."

Shirou's jaw dropped.

"Taiga? A teacher?" How the hell did that happen!

"Well, you know how she's always said she likes kids…"

_But still, a teacher? Isn't that supposed to be a respectable job? Taiga? Respectable job? Just what is the world co…_

"And her father happens to know everybody on the local school board."

_Ah, ok, that makes sense._

Having made peace the new events and the fact that reality was not crashing down on his head, Shirou took in the sight of the Emiya estate that he had spent his joyful, albeit short, childhood in.

_Same traditional shingles, bushes, cherry trees, giant entrance, corpse in front of giant entrance…_

Wait. What? Rewind and try that again.

_Same traditional shingles, bushes, cherry trees, giant entrance, corpse in front of giant entrance…_

Okay, so maybe he'd been away for awhile. But last time he checked, corpses did not just appear out of nowhere, nor did they grow out of the cracks in the sidewalk. You had to kill something in order to make a corpse—a fact he was very familiar with.

Dropping his bags, he rushed over and picked up the prone figure.

Breathing? Check. Not a corpse then, a body that seems to be seriously stretched to its limits.

Wait, pink hair? Fox ears? Bushy tail? Odd looking Kimono?

_Wow, this "fashion trend" thing is really weird._

But first things first, his instincts as the "protector of Earth and all her colonies" (regardless of how odd the inhabitants are) quickly took command and he carried the stranger into his house for basic treatment. Only upon entering the living room he was met with another person, who was evidently quite irritated.

"Well, it's about time you arrived. Just what kind of gentleman makes a lady w—"

When her eyes finally fell on the subject of her ire, they quickly widened to the size of saucers as realization dawned on her.

"S-S-S-S-Shirou-Kun?"

Suddenly he is met with another childhood friend, one who did not alter her features, enabling instant recognition.

"Luvia? What are you doing here?"

"Ah? W-well, I-I was, a lady of my stature cannot be forced to wait outside in the open after all." Luvia stammered out while striking a proud pose.

"I thought you went back to Finland?"

Shirou instantly put two and two together.

"Wait, you're the representative from association?"

Cover blown, shock was evident on her features as she stammered.

"H-H-How did you find—you're the one I was told to formally train!"

Granted the missive she had received had been classified as top secret with the name omitted for security reasons, but with the meeting location, rendezvous subject's age, height, and other physical descriptions, most other people who had been associated with Emiya Shirou in the past would have been instantly been able to connect the dots. Luviagelita Edelfelt was evidently not most other people.

Let's just say that stereotypes about rich, pretty, blonde women and mental cognizance have their origins.

However, right now, there was something much, much more important than her sworn duty as a member of the Clocktower Association and messenger of its head.

"SHIROU, JUST WHO IS THAT WOMAN IN YOUR ARMS?"

* * *

><p>Having settled down and made tea for all the guests of the Emiya household, Shirou took his own spot across from one he had rescued from the front of his house. Sipping his beverage, he studied her for a moment and noticed that the ears and tail apparently moved on their own without any noticeable assistance.<p>

_Ok, maybe not accessories than. But if that's the case, what is she? I remember the last person from the association telling me about familiars and the like but she doesn't look like any of the ones I saw in the book he gave me._

Seeing that the appendages were moving more erratically now, and that the eyes were darting all over the place except for the person in front of her, he made his decision.

"Are you okay?"

"Eeeek!"

Come one, was he really that scary?

"U-umm, I guess?" She timidly replied, obviously not at ease.

Shirou frowned, he recognized the signs, having protected defectors before. Uncertainty as to whether or not to trust present company, eyes scanning possible entry/exit points in the structure, constantly checking the corners as if the shadows themselves would jump out at her.

"Don't worry, whoever's chasing after you, they'll have to deal with us first."

Having refocused on her situation, a bitter smile formed on her lips.

"It's more like I took care of him. And sealed my own fate as a result."

Shirou nodded.

_Most likely a remote implant that had been fused or injected into her body to ensure compliance. Considering the fact that she's still in one piece, it's probably not an explosive. Slow acting poison maybe? Released upon the overseers death? But then what would that make her? Why would she even have these anti-mutiny countermeasures installed? Escaped slave? But that shouldn't be possible, ONI records indicated that almost all slaving operations had been annihilated through a combination of UNSC raids and covenant assaults. And this close to Earth? How did this go unnoticed? __  
><em>

A dainty throat clearing interrupted his train of thought and made him look over to blond heiress from which it originated.

"Shirou, if I may. I do believe she is what would be known as a servant—a spirit summoned for the purpose of doing battle in a tournament that is to be held in a few months."

"However, we are short on time; if you want to aid this person, the full explanation will come later. To my understanding, she must have killed the one who summoned her and as such is in danger of fading away as there is no longer a source of prana sustaining her existence."

Shirou nodded. What short lessons he was able to receive on magecraft from the previous representative sent by the association as per the agreement made with ONI had made him comfortable with some of the more basic theories, the workings of different sources of energies available to magi being one of them.

Luvia continued, pleased that her pupil-to-be had some foundation in the field. "But before I make any recommendations, I would like to know just WHY you killed your previous master."

Noticing that everybody's attention was now focused on her, the Pink-head went through an internal struggle before she finally mumbled out something incoherently with a down-trodden expression.

"…"

"What was that?" the association representative was straining her ears.

"…"

"Speak up girl, I can nary make out a word you're saying."

"I SAID HE TRIED TO D-D-D-DO THINGS TO ME!"

Silence filled the room at the admission.

Looking at the distraught girl, Sakura realized what had almost transpired to cause such a situation. After all, it was what she suffered through on an almost daily basis in her own home no less.

"Senpai, I think you should hel—"

"What do I need to do?"

"Wha?" this time from Luvia

"I've seen enough to know the difference between victim and aggressor." After all, he had plenty of experience being the latter.

Surprise came across the newcomer's face.

"Huh? But, you don't even know me!"

"Doesn't change the fact that you need help." He rebutted.

"But you life might be put in danger!"

"Meh, not like anything I'm not already used to."

"Hawawaa?" Far be it for her to reject a person's kindness, but this was all moving too fast all of a sudden for her brain to process.

Turning to Luvia, he steeled himself for what was to come.

"So, again, what do I need to do?"

"Well" Luvia began as she composed herself.

"You'll need to form a fact with her. When that is done a connection will be established between the two of you allowing a constant stream of prana to flow from master to servant, preventing her from fading away."

Shirou nodded.

"Sounds good, how do we form this pact?"

Luvia had taken to scribbling down something on a piece of paper.

"Just focus on an extension of your power connecting to her."

"Oh, you mean like in a mid-air refueling?"

"Errm, well, I suppose…Anyway, as you're focusing, say the words I wrote down."

Shirou skimmed the sheet, committing what seemed like a chant to his memory.

Satisfied, he faced his beneficiary.

"Are you ready?"

"Umm, well, it's not like you can be any worse than my last master, so sure, why not?"

The room collectively sweatdropped.

"Uh, in any case, here goes."

Reaching out his arm, Shirou focused on his magic circuits, feeling them hum to life as he prepared for the ritual. Imagining an ethereal chord connecting the two of them, he began.

"**I hereby propose**

**Thou shalt come under my command,"**

Suddenly, a strange glowing circle embedded with ancient runes appeared beneath the servant.

"**And thy sword shalt control my fate.**

**Abiding by the summons of the holy grail,**

**If thou accedest to this will and reason, answer me."**

The circle had now doubled in size and created another one, concentric to itself that was rotating in a direction opposite the original.

"**I hereby swear.**

**I am all that is good in the eternal world.**

**I am the disposer of evil in the eternal world.**

**Thee, the seven days clad in the divine trinity,**

**Come forth from the circle of constraint.**

**Guardian of the heavens**

**Accedest to me and my fate shalt become thy sword."**

An explosion of light engulfed the entire room as eldritch energies swirled around the contractors, preparing themselves for the final trigger.

By this time, the Girl's entire body was glowing, her kimono rippling in the Maelstrom.

It was her turn now.

"**I accept this pact under the name of Caster.**

**I recognize you as my master, Shirou"**

Conditions fulfilled the incorporeal entities coalesced into a blinding flash, signifying the completion of the ritual.

When everybody's eyes readjusted to the new levels, they were stunned by what they saw.

Caster was the first to break the silence.

"KYAAA! By the Four Heavenly Beasts! I got my other 8 tails back!"


	3. Chapter 2

Yes, Shirou's servant is Caster from Fate/Extra. And for those who are curious, I took that chant at the end of the last chapter straight from the Unlimited Blade Works movie from the scene where Rin forges a new contract with Saber.

And on to the story._  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>The transport rocked as it took hits from the Banshees that were closing in on it, wolves coming for their prey. Shirou wasted no time training his anti-material rifle on the more reckless one that was leaving behind it's wing mates, eager for the glory that would undoubtedly come with the kill. Quickly opening his magic circuits, he began the process which he had spent countless hours perfecting at base after devising it, and was now capable of executing in a split second. <em>

Focus…

Initiate Structural Analysis…complete

Modify subatomic matrixes…material superconductivity threshold reached.

Prepare Prana for use as electrical discharge.

Confine to Barrel length.

Creating electromagnetic field…complete.

Breath…Aim…Fire.

_The high-velocity armor-piercing round flew at 40 times the speed of sound as it left the make-shift Gauss cannon and impacted on its target with a screech ripping off one of unfortunate sop's wings, causing it to roll uncontrollably to the canyon below._

_Any satisfaction the one responsible might have felt however, immediately disappeared as another craft promptly took its place, beginning the harassment anew._

_Shirou shook his head. This game had been going on for longer than he would have liked. He, Carter, and Emile had secured Doctor Halsey's package and were fleeing to the Pillar of Autumn for evacuation. _

_The idea to grab a pelican to serve as rapid transport was a good one._

_The idea to leave the choice of pilot up to their captain however…_

"_Sir, I still think I should be the one flying."_

"_Dammit Six, focus on the package."_

_Mentally sighing while taking down two more pursuers with his souped-up rifle, he tried to work out in his mind just why they had thought it was a good idea to determine who would get control of the flight stick with a game of rock-paper-scissors._

_Failing miserably, he tried once more to convince his superior to let go of his new toy._

"_Sir, with all due respect, your flying totally SUCKS!"_

_As if on cue, several plasma bolts pelted the Pelicans hull, thankfully not hitting anything important. Yet._

"_Just shut up and focus on the package!"_

_A new toy that the spoiled superior in question did not want to let go._

_Okay, Shirou could sympathize; flying was undoubtedly an extremely exhilarating experience. And it was quite easy to get addicted to the sensation once you had sampled it once. And Carter had every right to savor the feeling…when they weren't on what was probably the most important mission in the history of mankind._

"_Dammit. Help me out here Dot."_

"_Noble 6 is correct. Record comparisons show that he has five times as many simulation hours and twelve times as many actual flight hours as you do Noble 1." The supercomputer AI quipped._

"_In addition he has prevailed in 1,689 air-to-air singular combat scenarios. You only have 223 on file, Noble 1."_

_Carter shook his head disbelievingly, he knew that the newest addition to their group was good, he didn't know he was THAT good. Still…_

"_This isn't a God Damn Longsword, just how do you expect to dogfight in a frickin Pelican?"_

…_He had his pride to think of after all._

"_Of the aforementioned 1,689 kills, 97 Type-26 GSA "Banshees" were confirmed gun kills using a chin mounted 70mm chaingun on the D77-TC Pelican class vessel under his control."_

_Pride which evidently wasn't worth much at the moment._

"_72 of which were netted while dropship was loaded to near maximum capacity, limiting maneuverability."_

_Okay, correction, REALLY wasn't worth much at the moment._

"_Shit Six, that's pretty badass." Emile at this point had no choice but to voice his approval._

"_Is that how you got to test fly those Sabres?"_

_Shirou blew up another covenant fighter before answering. _

"_No, I got special training at the facility."_

"_What the Fuck? How come we never got any of that shit?"_

"_Do you remember when we first got abducted, they shoved us all into a shuttle, climbed to low earth orbit, then suddenly started accelerating directly towards the ground?"_

"_Man, I remember passin out! That's what I remember!"_

"_And that's why you didn't get the training—they used that stunt to judge your body's reaction to a sudden increase in G forces and as part of a test to see if you'd make the cut for the pilot arm." This was enough to shut the skull-faced Spartan up._

"_Now can I please take the seat sir?"_

_Carter, faced with his own relative incompetence, finally relented. "Fine Fine, but if the human race gets wiped out because of this, it's not my fault you hear me!"_

_Dropping into the chair, Shirou felt perfectly at home._

"_Okay, work with me Dot, Fence in all available combat systems and link instruments to my HUD. Disable angle of attack limiters."_

_Shirou quickly went through the more important flight checks he had tried to tell his superior to run._

"_Time to Dance."_

* * *

><p>Caster woke up with a start. Looking around the room and realizing that she was not in some giant flying metal box thingy, she calmed down enough to stop her hands from shaking.<p>

_Just…what…was that?_

The Nine-tailed fox had in her past bore witness to countless battles. The eras in which she had been born and experienced firsthand were, after all, some of Japan's bloodiest. Ambitious Shoguns, back door treaties with foreign powers, assassinations, family feuds—all of these were commonplace in her time. However, the kind of bloodshed she was accustomed to seeing was more along the lines of huge formations of troops rushing towards each other and covering the field with blood on a single plane of movement.

Shaking her head, she tried to recall what she had "seen."

Giant ships dwarfing those in royal fleets, moving through a vast ocean of emptiness dotted with stars, suddenly disappearing, then reappearing at another point in a blinding flash of light; and promptly torn to pieces by projectiles the size of entire long houses, hurled faster than the eye could see. Metal objects shaped like birds weaving through the skies raining fire on the unfortunates down below. A blinding flash of light coming from the heavens and swallowing an entire city, turning every tree, building, man, woman, and child, into glass.

_These are…these are master's memories!_

A groan emerged as the person who was sleeping across the room woke up, feeling the effects of his first-ever hangover.

"Seriously Caster, just what did you put in the punch?" Shirou asked while nursing his temple.

The night before, when the ritual had been completed, the Caster that had been sitting there was most definitely not the caster that had been there before, having gained an additional 8 tails bringing the total number of such appendages up to 9.

Once she noticed that all of them were "back," Caster had gone into an unstoppable fit of joy, materializing gallons of what was apparently high quality Koshu (aged sake), which had been around since the Heian period, when she had first started collecting it. Jealous at apparently being outdone, Luvia made a quick phone call, and moments later a helicopter came out of nowhere and dropped a crate into Shirou's courtyard. Inside was vintage wine dating back to the days of the French revolution.

Needless to say, things had gotten just a little bit crazy. After Sakura passed out, Luvia and Caster had gotten into a drinking match. Though the heiress had a fairly high tolerance for someone of her slender frame, thanks to all the times her family had played host to other nobles and businessmen, it was sadly no match for the millennia of experience with alcohol the fox lady had under her belt.

Though it hadn't gotten to the point where she was hurling her guts all over the place (Shirou thanked whichever gods were looking over him), a drunk Luvia was a very…difficult Luvia, to say the least.

Thanks to several bottles of Merlot, Pinot Grigio, Chardonnay, and a few cups of spiked fruit punch, by the end of the night, Luvia had lost all the gazillion layers of inhibition she had drilled into her as the family's next head. Unfortunately, said alcohol did not touch any of her inner wants and desires.

This led to a very amorous Luvia, who had ended the night latched to Shirou's left leg mumbling incoherently.

Shaking his head, the Spartan turned hug pillow looked to the blonde mop still attached to him, recalling some of the words that came out of her mouth.

_Why was she dreaming about hiding sausages and putting buns in ovens?_

And Shirou's naiveté returns with a vengeance.

Contrary to what people seemed to think, our favorite soldier did in fact absorb a good bit what those kind folks in the military had tried to explain to him about the facts of life and childbirth, he was just usually exhausted to the point of near-collapse when they were explaining it. After all, going on for 3 days without sleep and relying completely on borderline illegal medication to pull you through tended to take a lot out of you. As did the constant dodging air strikes, evading withering enemy fire, hijacking vehicles (the UNSC had presented him with a mock Grand Theft Auto medal after his 500th one), and leveling bases.

However, since the general perception was that he had never even gotten past level one with his understanding of intimate relationships, nobody had bothered to elevate his lessons to include the wide variety of jargon regarding such matters.

"But Shirou-sama, we only have daughters, the family needs a male heir~ Ehehe~"

Shirou blushed, but decided that right now would not be the best time to wake her up.

Attempting to shift his body just enough so that he could face Caster, his unoccupied leg suddenly let out a moan.

Looking down, he found that at some point, Sakura had taken to using it as a pillow.

Okay, so it wasn't so unoccupied after all.

"Ho ho, a flower in each hand." Caster amusedly quipped while feeling slightly annoyed for some reason.

Shirou sighed, resigned to the fact that all hell would break loose once both of the girls latched on to him woke up.

"So, err, how did you sleep?"

"The futon was really comfy! I know it's sometime in the future from when I was last around but it doesn't really look like things have changed that much." The girl noted happily.

"And the nabe yesterday was amazing! Haaan, nabe really is the best when you're going into autumn…"

Shirou smiled. During his time as an enlisted man, he had taken it upon himself to find ways to improve the quality of the fare that soldiers were subjected to on a daily basis. With casualty rates as they were, there was a very good chance that anybody he saw wouldn't be there the next day. He figured that, at the very least, they deserved to have good food, as every meal they had could very well be their last. Thanks to his efforts, every mess hall he came upon started serving dishes that, while not exactly gourmet, easily topped officer rations (which were typically superior to those for common troops) in terms of quality.

Though this was technically against regulations, any complaints that may have been filed mysteriously disappeared once they reached the CO's offices, never making it to the upper echelons. And of course around the same time, rumors that unit commanders were forgoing their issued meals in favor of those now being produced in the general mess halls started to circulate.

Purely coincidence of course.

Needless to say, this had honed Shirou's cooking abilities to the stuff of legends, to the point that he could create meals worthy of kings even when provided with the most basic of ingredients. ESPECIALLY when provided with the most basic of ingredients.

"Thank you, I've had a bit of practice."

"Yay! I got a master that can cook! Caster scores!"

All this time, the 9 tails that adorned the servant were swishing from side to side.

Shirou, despite himself, was not able to stop his eyes from following the furry objects.

_Must….resist…guests…in…house…not…approp—_

"Hey Caster, can I touch your tails?"

"Iyaaan, master's so bold! Asking to touch a girl's tails!"

She put on a mock-blush as she sat closer to the man.

"But…but, if it's master, I'm fine with it."

Realizing he was being teased, but not particularly caring at the moment, Shirou focused his attention on the objects of his fascination.

"Wow, these are really soft." He stated, enraptured.

"Teehee, I'm glad you think so, I spend a lot of time grooming them you know!"

"Grooming…" The image of Caster licking her tails while every once in awhile nibbling to get rid of a spot with knotted fur was enough to send the cuteness meter in his head through the roof.

This simply led to an increase in the rate at which he stroked the tails.

Before long, the kimono clad girl was humming in contentment, allowing other parts of her body to let loose.

The flicking fox ears immediately caught his attention.

This time, the battle with his restraint lost even faster, Shirou's hand instantly shot out and started rubbing the top of her head, on the spot right between the furry tips.

Caster immediately tensed.

No, this couldn't be happening! She would not give in!

She was a legend known throughout the country!

Children cried at the mere utterance of her name!

She was the Kyuubi no Kitsune!

The heavens shook when she roared!

The earth tore asunder wherever she walked!

The oceans trembled in her wake!

She would…!

She would…!

"Unyaaaan~"

Totally surrender.

Closing her eyes and letting the warm fuzzy feeling take her, she began to wag her tails more vigorously.

Unfortunately, vigorously wagging tails means more noise. And more noise means…

"Senpai…"

Shirou suddenly froze, dread gripping his soul as the eerie aura emitted from his childhood friend permeated the very fiber of his being.

"G-Good morning Sakura."

Ignoring the greeting, the purple haired girl's eyes moved until they fell on the hand on top of Caster's head, resting there for a few moments before refocusing on the male.

Impossibly, the dark miasma which seemed to have formed around her increased in intensity

Shirou was getting scared.

Nothing had ever prepared him for this.

Not the years of Spartan training.

Not the countless hours of mission experience.

Not the—Was that a hanya mask?

Stay calm. Stay calm. Stay calm. Stay calm.

"Senpai…me too."

"Wait, wha? Sakura, why—"

"Now."

"Ah sure." Shirou promptly complied rubbing the purple head with his free hand.

Mentally sighing, he tried to get a grasp on the situation.

_Well, at least it can't get any worse._

"S-S-Shirou-kun! W-What are you d-d-d-d-doing with those two girls!" Luvia stammered out, now fully awake.

_Why me?_

* * *

><p>After getting everybody to settle down, Shirou bid Sakura farewell, promising to meet up again later for dinner.<p>

With the one of the guests now gone, he decided to get some well-deserved rest before his luggage came in.

Joining Caster and Luvia at the table and reaching for tea that had been prepared, they indulged in small talk until the servant broached the subject.

"Ne ne master, are you some kind of warrior?"

Nearly choking on his drink, Shirou sputtered.

"What the? How did you—"

"I forgot to tell you that servants and masters unconsciously share dreams and memories. What happened yesterday night, that's going to be more of a common occurrence now."

Shirou frowned. There were certain memories after all, that he didn't really want shared, not to anyone. Certain things that he had done to other humans for the sake of winning the war…were less than honorable.

Shaking his head, he decided to simply take things as they went along, and pray that the darkest experiences of his past never made it into the exchange.

"Is there any way to stop it? I mean, I don't exactly want to pry into things I shouldn't be touching."

"Not that I know of master." Caster replied, shaking her head.

"But it's good to know care." She added brightly.

Expression turning serious, the servant steered the conversation to its necessary course.

"By the way, we should probably talk a bit about the Holy Grail War"

Luvia nodded in agreement.

Shirou, giving his consent, confirmed that they were speaking of.

"You mean the tournament Luvia was talking about."

"Correct. Since master was kind of dragged into it, I felt you at least deserved to know everything I can tell you."

"The quick version is that it's a battle between 7 masters and their servants. And at the end, the last one standing gets the Holy Grail, which can grant any wish."

Taking this in, Shirou began to formulate his questions.

"So just that, defeat the other masters? Are there any rules governing the fights?"

Caster shook her head.

"No, you're allowed to do anything you want. Usually it's easier to just kill the master since the servants are a lot harder to beat."

"I see. Do you know if anybody is regulating this?"

This time Luvia spoke up to provide clarification.

"Since this is a battle between magi, the political implications of having another magus serve as referee and overseer are not particularly pleasant. The church has been called in to take care of this aspect."

Sipping her tea she continued

"The point of contact for this war is one Kotomine Kirei. I will take you to him later for official registration."

Mulling over what he had just been told, Shirou couldn't help but notice one small detail.

"Wait, Luvia, you said 'this war', have there been others before it?"

Thinking for a bit, she replied

"That is correct, records indicate that there were four others before this one."

Pausing for a bit, she noted an oddity in her research.

"It's strange though, usually the wars are 60 years apart, allowing The Great Grail to amass enough energy to start manifesting servants. This one is only 13 years after the last war occurred."

Taking it all in, Shirou's eyes widened.

_13 years…that's the same the same as—_

"Luvia, did the last one occur in Fuyuki city as well?"

"Why…yes, it did."

"I see…" Shirou bit his lip "The fire 13 years ago…"

Realization dawned on the Heiress as her expression saddened. As soon as she had become interested in the boy no expense had been spared at looking into his background. So, in effect, she knew everything…

"Yes Shirou, it most likely had something to do with it. Chances are a spell used by either a master or servant went out of control."

Closing his eyes and clenching his fists so tight that his nails started digging into his fist, drawing blood.

Fire. 500 dead, one survivor, parents among those killed.

Though it had been ages ago, the memory was still fresh in his head. Thanks to whoever had started those flames, he no longer had a mother or father. Hell, he couldn't even remember if he had any parents. His first memory was that of a Kiritsugu shedding tears of joy, while around him there existed nothing but debris and charred bodies.

Thankfully, he was later adopted by his savior, gaining a home, some semblance of a family, and a path in life. It was not until Shirou was old enough to understand all the stories he had been told as a child however, that he realized his father had been betrayed by his own ideals.

Emiya Kiritsugu, despite his age, had been incredibly naïve, living life in the hopes that he would one day be capable of saving everybody he laid eyes upon.

To sacrifice one life to save another. This was a common occurrence, after all, in the agency which he had been a part of. In fact, it could be said that this group was the very embodiment of this recognized necessity. The pool of 300 orphans which Shirou had been a part of was raised with the idea that they would die before they reached the age of 20 in order to buy humanity precious time. It was only through an accidental discovery of his magecraft by one of the supervisors that he was deemed too valuable to expend.

Ultimately, through his experiences, he had made peace with his father's dreams. There was oftentimes no way to save some without losing others. The world simply did not work that way—as such, the whole idea of being a hero of justice was simply ridiculous as justice for some would mean injustice for others. Attempting to be this type of figure would render him at the same both a hero and villain.

However, those around him; those who ate, slept, laughed, bled, and died in his company—it was to those people that he did have a certain obligation. Shirou had learned through Kiritsugu that common blood was not necessary for individuals to become a family. And his time as a Spartan, though fraught with peril, had been some of the happiest in his life as he willingly made sacrifices in order to protect those he cared about. It was only though the urging of others in the platoon who had wanted him to have a "normal life" that he had not tried to contest the honorable discharge notice.

He couldn't protect everybody. It wasn't possible. But those around him; those he could see, feel, and hear, they at the very least deserved everything he could give right?

"Let's go see this Kirei person."

* * *

><p>Shirou and party (with caster in spiritual form), spent the trip to the church in silence.<p>

When they finally arrived, upon opening the doors they were greeted with a familiar face.

"Rin?"

The descendent of the Tohsaka family immediately turned around to face the direction the voice had come from, alarm on her face at having an unfamiliar voice utter her name.

Upon laying eyes upon a familiar set of eyes and orange mop the tension vanished.

"E…miya…kun?" The twin tail disbelievingly managed to make out.

All those years ago, after ONI had abducted Shirou, it was Rin that had immediately noticed something out of place, and killed the flash clone that had replaced him before fabricating a story about distant relatives finding and taking him away.

"It's good to see you again too Rin."

Shaking her head, all she could do was stand there astounded.

"But how…Where were…What are you…"

Rubbing the back of his head, Shirou inwardly sighed. _"This is getting to be a crazy day."_

"It's a long story."

"I'd bet…" Tohsaka absently nodded.

All of a sudden a haughty laugh resounded from behind the new visitor.

Noticing the blonde woman walking out to the front Rin plastered a smirk on her face and directed it towards her eternal enemy.

Sparks visibly flew between the two women as cold blue eyes met burning amber orbs.

Over the past few years, the two magi had developed a bit of an adversarial relationship while learning at the association. Both were hot tempered, proud to a fault, and undoubtedly gifted, causing a bitter rivalry to be established. After a certain incident which destroyed a wing of the school, people learned to stay far away whenever the two were sighted in the same room.

"Ara Ara, here to forfeit and seek asylum before the war even begins? How like a noble you are Luvia."

"My my, it seems as if your fashion sense has deteriorated even further Rin. Could it be that your plebian finances are not enough to handle your excesses? I could give you a loan of course."

The two continued to trade barbs until the other male in the building finally spoke up.

"So are you going to stop them?"

Shirou looked at the creepy priest who had suddenly appeared before him.

"Nah, it's best to let them blow off steam."

"I see…so I take it you haven't heard of their…destructive reputation yet."

"What are you—"

"Destroyed 300,000 pounds worth of university laboratory equipment."

"Huh?"

"Injured 209 students caught in crossfires to date"

"Wait hold o—"

"Burned down western wing of association dormitory."

"What the—"

As he listed the damages, Shirou visibly grew paler at the implications.

"Since it seems are if you are fine with this, my lawyer will contact you at a later date to discuss repayment for reconstruction of the church."

"But—"

"Fret not, we do accept payment in installments.

_Crap_

"Okay you two, no fighting."

Shirou gulped as both sets of eyes turned on him.

He was toast now. The church and his bank account would be saved, but his life was forfeit.

Dammit, he still had to water the plants! Take out the garbage! Wax the floor! Arrange the furniture! Make sure the—"

"W-Well, if E-Emiya-Kun says so…" Rin stuttered with a light blush, looking away.

"J-J-Just count yourself lucky that Shirou decided to step in." Luvia retorted weakly.

_Well that went better th—_

"Hooo, master sure is popular."

Caster had materialized to enjoy the show and had been suppressing her giggles in the background.

Noticing the newest addition, the man of the cloth decided that introductions were in order.

"Forgive my rudeness. I am Kotomine Kirei, agent of the Church, and mediator of the 5th Holy Grail War. I trust this is your servant? Mr…"

"Shirou. Emiya Shirou."

Kotomine's eyes widened as he heard the family name.

_I see, so this is Kiritsugu's son, I thought he had seemed familiar, and to think, he's following in his father's footsteps! Oh the joy I will reap when I finally tear apart his dreams! Mhmhmhm. Mahaha, AHAHAHAHAAAAAA!_

The creepy priest now seemed to be laughing maniacally to himself. Concerned, Shirou turned to Rin.

"Umm…is he going to be okay?"

"Yeah, he's usually like that, I wouldn't worry about it."

"I…see…" Visibly disturbed, he decided to simply wait until the man calmed down.

10 minutes later…

GAHAHAHAHAAAAA HAHAHAAAA HAHAAAAAA

Shirou sighed, deciding to kill time by playing with Caster's tails.

20 minutes later…

YES! YEEESSS! MY PREEECIIOOOUUSSSS!

Caster was humming contently as Shirou petted her head, ignoring jealous glares from the other two girls in the room.

30 minutes later…

Clearing his throat, Kirei finally began.

"Forgive me, I suddenly thought of something rather humorous."

"Ah. Yeah, sure…anytime." Shirou sweatdropped.

_Guess now we know why nobody ever attends service here._

"In any case since you have a servant in tow, may I be so bold as to assume that you wish to register as a participant for this tournament?"

"Yes that is corr—"

"Wait!" Rin suddenly interrupted.

"Don't do it Emiya! Stay out of this!"

Shirou was now confused.

"Why not?"

Rin glanced down as she fought with herself.

"Because I'm entering too."

Looking at her crush, pleading with her eyes, she begged despite her usual proud demeanor.

"I don't want to have to fight you."

He would not be deterred however.

"Rin, 13 years ago, in that fire, I was the only survivor."

The twin-tail looked down, knowing what was coming next. People don't change that easily after all, and she knew Shirou better than just about anybody.

"I have a responsibility to those that died to make sure something like that doesn't happen again."

Rin closed her eyes, frustration evident on her face.

"…Idiot."

"Huh? Talk louder I can hear—"

"Fine! Do whatever you want you idiot!"

Strange as it was, he knew Rin had just given her consent.

"Don't worry, I'll think of something. We'll be fine."

"…Idiot." Rin mumbled.

Shirou just smiled.

* * *

><p>After Rin had calmed down, Shirou made his way back to his estate with his entourage in tow.<p>

No sooner had they stepped through the front door did a giant shadow cast itself over the courtyard.

Caster instantly jumped in front of her master.

"Master, stay back, it's that giant metal bird from your dreams!"

Rubbing his head, he tried to calm his servant down before casualties were incurred and he had to explain to his former superiors just why a pelican was shot down over his house.

"Relax Caster, this one's a friend."

The fox girl backed down but warily kept her eyes on the object, watching for any attacks. A movement towards the "metal birds" rear caught her eye.

"Hey master, why's it laying eggs?"

Shirou followed his servants' line of sight, frowned, then looked at the area right below where the "egg" would fall.

Eyes widening, he quickly tried to warn the pilots.

"Wait wait stop it's going to drop right on top of the—"

Too late. The crate began its descent and landed, destroying everything underneath.

"—flower bed."

Sighing, Shirou took out his communicator and tried to connect with the Dropship-turned-delivery truck.

_Dammit. Sakura is going to kill me._

After a little bit of maneuvering and a lot of shouting, all the packages were finally all unloaded. The basic necessities came first—clothing, spare rations, mementos, medals.

Then came the gifts which some of the people who he'd fought with had decided to send him. These weren't too bad. Some beer mugs, a coffee maker, dishes, silverware, and…

Shirou blushed as he looked at the contents of the last package…

Adult magazines.

_Just what are they thinking, sending me these! I'd better get rid of them before Caster of Luvia see._

Unfortunately, Caster and Luvia were already looking over his shoulder.

Suddenly noticing them, Shirou yelped and told his servant to get rid of the offending objects. The Pink-head obliged…after sharing a look with the heiress.

_My room? Later? _Caster stared

_Yes, we'll talk…business._ Luvia stared back.

Let it not be said that only men can be perverts.

Deciding to leave the "heavier" crates for later, when nobody who didn't have security clearance was around to see the contents, Shirou went to kitchen to prepare snacks and drinks.

When he came back the living room however, he noticed several piles of old tomes which had apparently appeared out of nowhere, as well as the fact that Luvia had put on a pair of glasses.

"Umm…what are all these for."

Looking up from her text, the Heiress smiled.

"Why, they're for your lessons of course."

Wearily, he studied the books which were to be his texts. Some of them looked as if they were about to turn into dust, simply waiting for an unlucky fool to start flipping the pages. All of them had arcane symbols, of which Shirou did not understand any since his lessons while on active duty were constantly interrupted and pushed back.

They all looked thick. Very, very thick.

"All…of these?"

"Why of course not." Luvia gasped.

"Do you take me for some kind of demon?"

_Whew, for a moment there I was starting to wor—_

"All the books here contain all the basics you should have memorized by the time I'm done with the first segment of your education, we'll start by finishing these two tonight. Don't worry, they're only about 800 pages each, and should make for some good light reading."

"Li...ght?" Shirou managed to make out.

"Yes, I wouldn't expect you to go full force right from the outset after all. Tomorrow we'll get started on one of the heavier tomes."

"Not..full...force...Heavier…"

_Why me?_

Realizing that his hopes of a relaxing night were shot to oblivion, he got to work on the assigned readings under the watchful gaze of his teacher.

_Let's get this over with. If I'm lucky, maybe I'll have time to mop the floor before the sun comes up._


End file.
